Newsletter #21: 30 Going On [Insert Fart Noise]
Woof
[EDIT: Please lower your volume if listening to the article voiceover with headphones, I’m still figuring out how to use a mic and I’m a peaker.]
I turned 30 on July 1st 2025.
It’s an age I used to think was positively ancient lol and an age (similar to maybe the past 10 years?) I never thought I would reach. So I’ve never had a very clear idea of what my life would be like at this age.
That’s the thing about growing up with mental illness, you so often are taking your life one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in order to get through, you don’t think about the future as something tangible.
So then all of the sudden, you’re here. Oh hey, knock knock, it’s the future. And you’re still…
…here.
So what are you gonna do with it?
So I was wondering if, in honor of my birthday, you’d try and imagine with me.
And as a way for this to be easy on my nervous system and not make me spiral, some of these will be fairly based on things I care about and some of these can be a lil silly.
I think this year, I’ll eat at least 30 hot dogs. I’ll find some humane version and thoroughly enjoy hot dogs. I’m in my Hot Dog Era.
I’ll produce and star in the short film I wrote about writing smut a few months ago with the help of some buddies. And of course Liz Merriwether, the creator of New Girl, will get the script and love it and hop on board. But she’ll have to fight Greta Gerwig for Top Producing credit.
Gowns, beautiful gowns. I’ll be in a gown for a carpet and photo op event.
I’ll finally learn how to ride a bike.
A candy will be named after me that tasted like pickle and lavender and it’ll be extremely divisive on Tiktok with influencers doing unboxings of their Maggie Candie.
I’ll bring I Want To Be Your Friend, Please (my first solo show & college thesis) back for a run Off-Broadway backed by Maria Bamford. Robert Pattinson sees it and is obsessed with it and begs me to do his upcoming weird Netflix show with him. We have many sex scenes in the show which I am VERY good at.
Trixie and Katya then OF COURSE react to the Netflix show and think I am very funny and talented and invite me over to Trixie’s big house for pizza and we become best friends.
I get a recurring voiceover role on Bob’s Burgers. It’s iconic.
Oh and smut. Yeah, my fan fiction goes viral, agents and publishers clogging up my inbox so I have to go and change all the character names a la Fifty Shades of Grey so we can publish it. It’s a headache, but hey, I’m not one to deprive the horny besties out there.
Thank you for imagining all of that with me, I very truly could not have done it without you.
Do you have an age you haven’t been able to picture for whatever reason? Did you always feel like you’d join the 27 club? Have a family member die young and that’s always been in the back of your mind?
Why not picture yourself at an age but only picture the things you feel are completely impossible? Just for fun.
It’s always interesting to me the things we think are impossible and how we tend to get pieces of those dreams sometimes without even realizing it. But you gotta think of it first.
Happy Cancer Season 💜
A contextual note (because it does feel insane to write and not comment on the hopelessness we are all feeling right now at the state of America right now):
Imagining “impossibilities” is a a good and rebellious practice when the world feels really bleak. It’s not wasteful nor does it encourage delusion, I promise. We need to be imagining hopeful impossibilities right now. It’s how we spark creativity and problem solve. It’s an act of rebellion to dream of better futures for ourselves. The dreaming begets creative and hopeful action. But it makes sense that trying to think of practical solutions can feel really impossible right now. So I urge you to dream of things that seem impossible on purpose. The more ridiculous the better.
Small Wins/Big Wins!
I booked a commercial!
And I had to make peace with it not being a completely life changing experience like Oreo was haha
If I want longevity and consistency in my acting career, it needs to be okay for some jobs to just feel like jobs! Didn’t change the fact that the cast and crew was phenomenal and truly so much fun to work with. I just didn’t get to feel as “shiny” as I did when I was on my last set and that’s okay!
The most important thing is that being on set feels like where I’m supposed to be.
I’m SO close to having a home voiceover booth!!
I just need to buy zip ties and I will be up and running babyyyyy
I’m so excited, doing voiceover is something I’ve been wanting to do for a really long time. Shout out to my brother for coming to my apartment and literally using a SAW. Not to perpetuate stereotypes, but I am bisexual and that literally could never have been me.
I wrote some very hot shit on my birthday
Now my favorite way to spend my birthday. Reminds me this is really what it’s all about.
^Me writing steamy dialogue between characters that haven’t even touched yet.
The Breaking & Entering Writers’ Group!
I’m in a new writers’ group with Breaking & Entering Theatre Collective that has been so encouraging and helpful. Co-Artistic Director, Molly Van Der Molen, comes up with these genius prompts to engage us and I’ve been recently using the time to practice writing one-off’s, short non plot specific spicy stories with different characters and dynamics. Let me know if you’d be interested in reading some of those 😉
Solo Show clients have a run at The Tank!
I’m endlessly proud of my clients Michelle Rodino-Colocino & Lisa Whitten for producing their new beautiful solo shows in a multi day run at The Tank in August!
Landing on Me is a mashup of two solo shows, Michelle’s Little Stars: A Love Story and Lisa’s The Cost of Kissing. Landing on Me is a heartfelt comedy about how Lisa and Michelle found—and keep finding— themselves. Lisa and Michelle take the audience on a journey through their own lives— their crushes, desires, relationships, triumphs, and moments when they thought they’d lost it all. What brought them back? How did they navigate their lives and the people who were pulling them in different directions?
And of course if you are interested in creating your own solo show, DM me at @magnadoodler on insta!
Stuff to Check Out
*All events are based in NYC unless otherwise specified
Shows
✨(Rhode Island)✨ The Rhode Island Music Hall of Fame Induction of Joe Parillo - Jazz pianist, composer and music educator Joe Parillo will be honored by The Rhode Island Music Hall of Fame during an Induction/Concert event. My very talented mother, Wendy Klein, will be wailing on the jazz flute so go check it out if you’re in RI. July 27th, 5pm, Pump House Music Works, South Kingstown, RI.
Final Callback : The Musical Comedy Variety Hour - Watch as the musical stars of NYC comedy take the stage for their last shot at superstardom, which is higher than their normal stardom. July 7th, 8:30pm, UCB.
Livestream
AGreenQueen on Twitch - Fellow anime nerd Alli Green has started her own gaming livestream! She’s currently playing Genshin Impact which she has told me is gay and magical! Check out her Twitch page for her schedule.
Class
PIT Improv - Where I was trained and met some of my best friends! Great place to start if you’re extremely nervous like I was, is Level 0: Joy of Improv!
Sketch
Deep sigh, very funny though!!!
Newsletter
by Robert Price - A Substack of poetry, one by Robert and one by someone else.
What I’m Loving
Rob Anderson and his current obsession with this horrendous decorating show from the 90’s. I am piss laughing at this series.
Here’s hoping, my friends. ✨
Love, Maggie
As a fellow friend in his “hot dog girl era” I encourage you to also eat the cheap dogs that make me sick because they remind me of being a boy 🥳